It’s Halloween, and you just ran out of candy. If the neighborhood kids (or anyone else, really) were to truly scare you, what trick would they have to subject you to?
You really want them to scare me? Then they’d have to put my car on fire or my neighbor’s. They’re parked so close together that torching one would probably get both. It might depend on the wind, but I doubt it. Of course there’s not much gas in my car, so it won’t make quite as good a firebomb as one with a full tank.
The reason I do not fear this outcome is that my neighbor sleeps with her gun (of which, I do not technically approve) and our neighbors and their children know that. It’s an amazingly effective deterrent to the kind of highjinks that go on throughout this weekend every year. My neighbor buys an obscene amount of candy every year and manages to give most of it away. It feels a bit bad to be giving so much sugar to kids who already get too much.
But I will be away from home tonight, since my writers workshop is having a horror night, and we are scheduled to watch Carrie and Psycho. There’s an off-chance that another movie may materialize, but we certainly have enough to get going on. We may take a break between movies to allow people to catch their breath, and maybe we won’t!
There will be candy, popcorn, cider and soda, and that will make it feel like a real movie theater, but just with friends (I almost wrote fiends!) in the audience. I truly expect a good time will be had by all, and we will get home long after the trick or treaters are at home in bed in a sugar coma.